Gold of a Ruined Wedding Dress
by London RocketDog
Summary: This is based on the teaser released for Clockwork Princess: "And the gold of her ruined wedding dress." It's finally Jem and Tessa's wedding day in Shanghai, but what happens when a shadow from Jem's past reappears? R and R!


**Thank you for reading! This is my first fan fic, so please review! I would love to get some good feedback. One-shot. Please enjoy and review! Thanks! **

Tessa could see only Jem at the end of the aisle. There was nothing but him, standing there in his beautiful gold and silver rune-embroidered waistcoat and jet black overcoat. Nothing but him. The smile that played across his lips. The adorable rumple of his silver hair that looked as if it had been brushed in a slightly careless way. The way his hands were tucked behind his back. The way that he fidgeted nervously. Nothing but him.

She bowed her head slightly as she stepped towards him. Her mind was everywhere; she was noticing the Chinese theme of the altar behind him, the gold of her dress that swept out with each step. She had never pictured herself getting married, and surely not in a gold dress. But for now, that was okay. The dress didn't matter, though it was beautiful. It was the man that she was pledging her loyalty to that did.

She took the last few steps to the altar, smiling at him as she joined him.

"You… look absolutely stunning," he breathed. She noticed that he looked far healthier than he had in a long time. Maybe he was right. Maybe she _was _his cure. Just maybe, they would spend forever together.

She took his hand in the shelter of her skirts. Now it didn't matter. It had stopped mattering what other people saw. There was no need to hide any emotion, or sit across the table from one another at breakfast in the morning, or to go on walks in the park with a chaperone. After today, they would finally be together without restrictions. And it already felt wonderful.

She looked out to the crowd settled before them. It was filled with Shadowhunters, mostly. Many of them she didn't recognize- they were in Shanghai after all. Just where they'd planned to be. When they learned of Mortmain's little escapade in China, they'd set out after him. Jem had told her that he wanted to be married here.

She couldn't help but to agree that it was possibly the most romantic wedding ceremony. She had never strayed from the United States or England until recently. Now she was here, in a completely foreign country. The one that had been Jem's home.

There was truly no better place than the place in which he was raised, was there?

Her eyes meet the crowd's again in a brief moment of distraction. Will was there, looking his neutral self. Of course he was there. He was the best man.

_I'm sorry, Will,_ she thought. There was some part of her that would never quite recover from the longing she had once felt for him. But now, there was no other man than Jem, the sweet, gentle and calm boy that had properly courted her. The musician. The romantic. The idealist who constantly looked Death in the face, but never let it ruin him. Will would never be those things, despite his own attractive attributes. He would_never_ be Jem.

She turned back to Jem and let him draw the veil over her head. He looked as she figured she did- a little lost, slightly confused and nervous, but yet thrilled and ecstatic hidden in some calm place all at the same. He took a deep breath and faced the Shadowhunter that would be performing the ceremony, gripping Jem's hand just a little tighter.

Nobody had expected things to happen like they did. One second, Tessa and Jem had been waiting to begin the ceremony, with the support of the eager onlookers. Nobody had expected the demon to return when he did.

_Yan Luo_. Jem would have recognized him from a mile away. The demon who had tortured him in front of the two people who loved him most, who had then taken their lives. The one who had been the beginning of the disease that now consumed him, the one that would take him away from his Tessa.

The Greater demon had burst into the building. It wasn't exactly holy or consecrated ground, which made it perfectly acceptable for the demon to appear. Jem protectively put a hand on Tessa's shoulder. Several Shadowhunters rose to their feet, looking shocked. This should not have happened. Nobody had seen this demon in years, not since it had murdered most of the Carstairs family.

"Jem…?" Tessa asked worriedly, looking up at him. He was frozen to the spot, looking both terrified and fierce at the same time.

"Tessa, get back. Hide behind the altar. I should have known. I shouldn't have come back here," he whispered. Tessa, wide eyed, stepped back, before Jem stepped down from the altar and closer to the demon. "Be careful, James."

The demon made no move. There was no reason to. There was no hurry. Instead, it waited for the boy it had let go years before, James Carstairs, who he had let live only to suffer. It was mildly impressed that he'd made it quite this long- drug addicts like this one, and Shadowhunters specifically, rarely lived quite as long on the drug as this boy had.

Maybe there was a truth and strength to love. But if there was, the demon didn't know it. Humans. Weak. They let themselves hurt so easily, and they were so easy to kill and torture. And their petty human ideals. Pathetic.

Jem stepped a little farther forward. Will looked rather on-edge.

"James, stop. We'll take care of it. You should leave with Tessa, while you can," Will warned. Tessa noted that it was the most concerned he'd sounded in almost a year.

Jem shook his head. "It's been too long. At least let me speak."

The crowd looked disoriented. Among them were several Shadowhunters from London, and they knew some of Jem's story. They rose, weapons out. The room seemed frozen, every breath held back from being expelled.

After what seemed like forever, Jem spoke. "Yan Luo. You've come back."

The enormus, jet black _thing_ didn't move. _It seems as though you're the one who's come back, boy. And what a thoroughly idiotic choice of yours._

"I am well aware," Jem said, an almost bored tone to his voice. Tessa assumed he was putting it on. "I simply wished to be married to the love of my life, if that isn't too much to ask."

_It is. You shouldn't have come back. I let you go once. You will not be so fortunate this time, _Yan Luo hissed. It was a disgusting sound. Tessa also assumed that this was why the Shadowhunters were assigned to rid the earth of dreadful creatures such as this one.

"What do you have against me, exactly?" Jem asked. He knew the answer. His mother. In a way, she was to blame for everything that happened, but he didn't stoop to blame her. She was only doing her job, even if that was a job that resulted in killing her husband and torturing her twelve year old son. But in that effort of destroying Yan Luo's offspring, she had saved possibly millions of others. Maybe the suffering of one family was worth the saving of an entire population of innocent people.

Nobody could be sure when the fight broke out. But only minutes later, the entire building was flooded with demons, all after one boy that had gotten away. Tessa had wedged herself behind the altar, as hidden as she could manage to keep herself. Though she wanted to help, she knew it would only be a hindrance to the rest if she put herself in danger. Then they would not only have to watching out for themselves, but also for her. She stayed decidedly put.

Meanwhile, Shadowhunters and demons clashed in the center of the building. What had been a wedding minutes ago was now a battle ground. Jem and Will immediately teamed up, considering that they were _parabatai, _and were busy fighting the smaller demons on the outskirts of the battle. Some of the older Shadowhunters were simultaneously attacking Yan Luo, but they were swatted away like flies. There were already several casualties.

Tessa wasn't sure how long the fighting continued before she had the courage to peek out from behind the altar. She wished she hadn't. The battle was still going on. She stood up and stared open mouthed, looking around the room. Almost everyone was dead. There appeared to be no demons, save Yan Luo- they were gone, their bodies sent back to their original dimensions. But the bodies of Shadowhunter lay around the room, scattered and bloodied. There was only a group left in the middle now. Will and Jem were still alive, thank God. The were certainly giving that demon hell- and she realized in a strange moment just how graceful they really looked while fighting.

But Yan Luo was still winning out. He had slowed down considerably, and seemed to be having difficulty warding off the oncoming Shadowhunters, the group of the remaining ten. Tessa realized with a pang exactly how many people were really dead.

Yan Luo was decidedly NOT the last demon left. Tessa didn't see the thing before it hit her. Something small and black rammed into her with considerable force. She was knocked to the ground, breathless. The thing scrambled up over her, hissing and scratching her. She cried out. She managed to push the heavy thing off her in a few moments of dumb luck, and scrambled to her feet. After looking around for some sort of weapon, she grabbed a heavy candle holder off the altar, and when the time came, whacked the thing to the side of the head with more power than she thought she possessed.

It wasn't dead, certainly. You had to kill demons with a blessed object. But at least it was stunned. Tessa stood, breathing heavily, upon the altar. Damn corsets. She looked up, watching chaos beyond.

Now there were even fewer Shadowhunters left, and Yan Luo seemed slightly run down at the worst. Jem and Will were still fighting him valiantly. How could this day have gone so wrong…?

It was Tessa that saw it coming before anyone else. Jem and Will were still fighting Yan Luo, and she had wedged herself back behind the altar for safety. This time, she'd found a place where she could be safe, but still watch the battle that ensued before her. Which maybe, was why what happened, happened.

Tessa had been watching every movement. _Be safe, Jem, Will… I want you to come home with me. Just don't die_, she prayed.

Jem and Will had been scurrying around the beast as it swiped its long, hooked paws at them. It twitched its own blade-like defense mechanisms threateningly, looking for the opportune moment to skewer one or the other, or any of the Shadowhunters. Tessa saw Jem head around its back, angel blade extended. What he'd missed was how very close he was to one of its spines.

Tessa saw the glint in Yan Luo's eyes as it found its moment of opportunity.

"JEM!" she yelled, alerting the boy to the danger that was like a snake in the road in front of him. Jem looked up.

"Tes-" he said, before he was cut off. Everything was silent for a second, before Will was yelling.

"JEM!" she called again, as she saw the demon impale him.

"JAMES!" he shouted, and Tessa saw it. Jem was laying on the ground, a poisoned spike embedded at least half-way into his side. Jem's eyes were wide, confused. He put his hands to the place where it went into him. He clutched at it before stumbling backwards. Will caught him mid-fall.

Yan Luo recognized his moment of opportunity of escape. There was nothing left for him here. He'd gotten the boy. That was all that mattered. In a wisp of smoke, he was gone.

Tessa ran towards them. The remaining Shadowhunters had been too distracted by Jem's injury to notice Yan Luo's absence.

Will layed Jem down on the ground, holding him gently. The spine was poisoned. Just as the one that had killed Will's own sister had been, despite it being a different demon entirely. Jem moaned when Will checked around the injury.

Tessa was there in seconds. She sank to the ground nearby them.

"Tessa… I'm so sorry… I should… I should have paid better attention," Jem whispered, his voice catching. Tessa noted the small bit of blood at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh Jem… No… Shh. Don't talk," she said, pressing her fingers to his lips. It broke her heart, seeing him like this, dying, on the floor of the place that would have been remembered as the sanctuary in which they were married. Will sat there in silence, holding his dying friend. The rest of the remaining Shadowhunters stood in a loose circle rather awkwardly.

"Tessa, I… Love you. Wo ai ni," he smiled weakly.

"Jem, no! Don't talk! It will make it worse!" she said desperately, choking back tears now. "Just… Just don't. We'll get you back to the Institute, and… and everything will be fine, and…" she whimpered, tears now threatening to overflow. "Will! The stele! Give him a rune, or- or something!" Will only shook his head. There was no use.

"Tess, don't… don't talk like that…" he said quietly, his voice slowing. Tessa took his hand in both of hers. She couldn't help it now.

She didn't like crying in front of anyone, and especially not now, when she needed to be strong, for him.

"Tess… I do love you, and… I wish that we could have been married," he said, smiling sadly. Blood was staining the front of his waistcoat in a way that was far too black to be normal blood. It was from the poison. "And… But I will see you again. We're… connected… together on the Wheel. I will find you again… someday," he said. He coughed this time, and there was blood. The light was already fading out of his eyes.

Will looked up at Tessa in a moment of silent conversation. He gently held out Jem to her, and she took Will's spot, stroking Jem's feather-soft hair and humming the most soothing thing she could think of, missing several notes because of her own rising panic. He was still breathing, but barely. The red-black blood was already staining what had been a beautiful gold wedding dress.

"Jem…" she finally whispered when his breathing hitched. "Don't you dare leave me, James. Please! PLEASE!" she begged, shaking him gently. It was selfish of her, to want him to stay here, suffering. But she loved him. She needed him. She was after the Magister in a country she didn't know. And she just wanted to spend forever with him, having picnics in the park and spending many sleepless nights together. To give herself entirely to him in ways that would have been highly improper before marriage. To wake up in the morning lying next to him. To sit in the grass at the Institute and look at the stars scattered across the night sky with him. To discover what she was with him.

And now none of that would ever happen.

"I'm sorry, Tess…" he whispered, his voice hitching. He pressed a hand to her cheek and they stayed like that for a minute before he whispered the one thing they had left.

"Mizpah. I… will see you again," he almost mouthed. She leaned down to kiss him, her tears on his face. "Mizpah…"

She had felt his last breath fade away against her lips.

It was Will who tried to drag her away first. She had ended up shouting hysterically at him. Instead she held Jem and pretended he was sleeping- he looked peaceful enough. Finally the other Shadowhunters managed to drag her away, literally kicking and screaming. They took Jem.

She did nothing for weeks. They left China as quickly as possible, considering both Will and Tessa's states. They were both such a mess. Will had lost a friend and a brother, his other, possibly and most likely better, half. Tessa had lost the man she'd loved, the one she'd almost married.

She stayed in her room, now in Paris, thinking of that day. The flowers, the look on his face, the blood and the pain. And the gold of her ruined wedding dress.

**Author's note: I am so sorry for that horribly depressing story. But I hope you enjoyed. I really would appreciate some feedback, and definitely some likes. If that happens, maybe I'll write something happy! I've been toying with the idea of Jem and Tessa's children, despite the fact that it isn't possible according to the books… ;) Anyways, thank you for reading!**


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